


Thor Odinsson's Mission Report #24052012

by perevision



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Languages and Linguistics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 01:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/656567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perevision/pseuds/perevision
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor takes The Stark Guide™ to Mission Reports to heart. Coulson takes it as a challenge. Tony takes it in the gut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thor Odinsson's Mission Report #24052012

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Stark Guide™ to Mission Reports](https://archiveofourown.org/works/400257) by [coffeesuperhero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeesuperhero/pseuds/coffeesuperhero), [sabinelagrande](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande). 



Thor Odinsson's Mission Report #24052012  
Aka Saga XVIII: Movie Night

~Midnight in Midgard,  
At Malibu mansion  
Treated we by Tony  
To Avengers Assembly--  
Popcorn and _Pocahontas_  
Our innocent indulgence.

Whereupon unwitting we,  
Our foes unfounded  
Launched loathly unlawfulness  
Upon lamplit Los Angeles.  
Bravely we banded (bereft of butter)  
To battle the bandits  
That our rest be restored.

Upon our eager engagement  
With these voracious vandals  
We--~

"Hang on, hang on, hang on." Tony waved for Coulson to stop, pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand. " _Voracious vandals_? You can't make me believe Thor actually wrote that." Across the table, Steve's brow furrowed at the interruption.

Thor leaned back in his chair, pleased. "I might have chosen different words in your language, but friend Coulsson--" (even the way he said it sounded more Scandinavian than American) "--does well enough with the translation. It sings the way it ought, although of course it would be vastly improved in the original."

"Translation?" Bruce raised his eyebrows at Coulson. "You don't mean to say you're reading it in Old Norse?" 

Clint grinned. Beside him, Natasha rolled her eyes.

On anyone else, that little smile would appear insufferably smug, but Coulson projected an air of polite inquiry and just a smidge of pleasure in a job well done. "How else does a liaison agent prepare to engage with a foreign power, if not by learning the language?" 

Tony opened his mouth.

"If you're planning to say 'all guns and/or repulsors blazing', Stark, I'm cancelling Movie Night."

Tony shut his mouth.

Coulson rolled the scroll forward a bit. "Now if there are no more questions, I'd like to get on with this briefing. Runes make my eyes hurt, and there are about forty more verses to go."

Everyone glared at Tony, who groaned and pretended to bang his head on the table. Coulson took a deep breath, certain in the knowledge that someone wouldn't be pulling _that_ prank again.

He just had to be prepared for the next one.

~END~

**Author's Note:**

> My brain took one of my very favourite rules from [The Stark Guide™ to Mission Reports](http://archiveofourown.org/works/400257) and RAN with it. Sorry about that. If anyone has additional verses, I'd love to read them!


End file.
